Requiem of the Dead S06E10 - [Desire of Normality]

Nik quickly dropped off the trays, giving the Cook a quick thanks for the food before he headed out after Saiph, shrugging his jacket on as he went. He came up beside her and put his arm around her waist, thankful that it had dried off in the cafeteria. "Okay, so which direction are we headed in?"

Saiph looked over at him when she felt his arm around her, and her smile grew a little. She handed him the umbrella that Christie had left behind and murmured, "The Circus is too depressing right now... How about a simple walk into town?"

Nik took the umbrella and awkwardly opened it with one hand, but he managed it. At least it would stop him from looking like a drowned rat while they walked. "You know, that sounds like a wonderful idea." He returned her smile as he gently steered her towards the Circus entrance. Even with the dreary weather, he didn't mind walking through it with Saiph.

She looked down at her feet as they walked, since she was feeling embarrassed again at the question she had asked him. Although she wanted to hear his answer, she was a bit afraid too. It was bad enough that she had called him "soul mate", and she wondered if that bothered him now that she was no longer dying or in peril.

Nik watched her out of the corner of his eye as he thought about her question. "You should know, to start with it wasn't the way you looked that caught my attention, it was your, at times, pig-headed determination. I don't mean it in a bad way, but you seem to do everything in mind of others rather than yourself, which is endearing." It also reminded him of himself sometimes, especially in the last week or so for her.

Saiph moved her gaze up from her feet to look into his eyes, and she managed a shy grin. "Yeah, well, that 'pigheaded determination' has gotten me into a lot of trouble, and it's probably only going to get worse," she warned lightly, but she leaned in closer to him to stave off the chill of the rain and to have the excuse to lean in that much closer to him.

Nik gave her a reassuring smile, tightening his arm around her a little bit as if it would help keep her warm. "And whatever trouble you get yourself into, I'll be there to help you out of it. That's another thing I like about you, you're strong. You don't ask for help unless you desperately need it, and as much as I wish you didn't, it's something I admire about you."

Saiph lowered her gaze slightly, once again feeling slightly self-conscious about his compliments. She knew that she had asked for this, but she wasn't used to getting complimented. Ever. She hadn't been praised or loved throughout her childhood, until she had joined the Circus. It was still such a strange and foreign concept for her, especially when it came to the guys she liked. It was easy for her to dish out the compliments, but it was much harder for her to receive them. "Thanks," she murmured stupidly, not knowing what else to say.

He chuckled. "You don't have to thank me for telling you the truth. Plus, I haven't even begun to talk about the best bits of you," he teased gently. She'd done this to him a few days ago, so now he was going to repay the favor. "You know, the way you stuck us out there to try and cheer Christie up." He smirked and looked up to watch where he was walking rather than watch Saiph. "I'm glad she has you to look out for her."

Saiph managed a tiny smile. "I think she's the one that's been looking out for me the most," she murmured. She bit her lip when she realized that she kept downplaying his compliments, so she would just shut up and let him talk.

"Yeah, she does that." Nik smiled slightly; it wasn't hard to notice that she kept knocking back his compliments. It was something he did as well, so it was easy to see. "It's something else I like about you as well, you're as loyal as they come. Either that, or you're just a glutton for punishment time after time," he teased gently, looking back down at Saiph as his smile grew. He'd rather keep things light.

Saiph looked at him and returned the smile. "I'm pretty sure I'm a bit of both," she replied as she rested her head on his shoulder. They had finally made their way out of the Circus and were making their way into town. There weren't a lot of people or cars out, obviously due to the horrendous weather, but she didn't mind. It felt like it was just her and Nik in their own little world, and she allowed herself to push aside her thoughts of Kaci and Rovelaen and Christie and Heilyn. Right now, what mattered was being with Nik.

Nik snorted playfully. "Well, let's make you less of a glutton for punishment, yeah? There's only so many times I can patch you up." He relaxed into their walk as Saiph put her head on his shoulder. He could get used to them doing this, it was a nice change from having to worry about her. He hummed thoughtfully before he spoke again. "Another thing about you is that you're deceptively friendly. Not that that's a bad thing, ‘cause you can be one tough cookie when you need to be, but I've always felt like I could talk to you without being overly self-conscious about my words."

Saiph laughed. "You'd be surprised by how un-friendly I can be. Do you really want to know why I was so nice to you?" she asked teasingly as she glanced up at him, reveling in the thought that he admitted he could talk to her openly.

Nik looked down at her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Okay, you have my curiosity. I thought that it was Max's fault because you seemed to know me before I knew you."

She grinned. "Well firstly, I trust anyone who works at the Circus. We don't let just anyone in, and if you're worthy enough to be a part of the family, we don't even second-guess. So that was the main reason. Secondly, it was because of Max that made me warm up to you. If she was anything like you, I knew that I'd be getting along with you swimmingly. So I found myself finding it easy to be nice to you. Now you know," she said coyly.

Nik couldn't help but laugh. "It's nice to know that I have my mum to thank for you being nice to me. I'd hate to see what you're like to people you don't like. That's probably going to be a messy scene," he joked. Although his tone was amused, he was actually scared of what she could do.

Saiph sighed. "Hopefully you won't ever have to find out. Not that I'm saying I get really mean and messy about it, it's just... Trust is a big thing with me. If I don't know someone, I can usually give them the benefit of the doubt, unless they're obviously out to kill us or something. But if someone breaks that trust with me, it's infinitely harder to bring it back." She glanced up at him again and said, "But you won't have to worry about that. I trust you completely."

Nik smiled and leaned down to give her a quick kiss. "I'm glad you feel like that, otherwise this whole thing is going to be a tad awkward." He hoped he never got on her untrusted list, that would be something he would never forgive himself for.

Saiph thought the kiss was too brief, but she didn't say anything about it as she rested her head back on his shoulder again. "So, I'm nice, loyal, and caring. I like those qualities," she said cheerfully.

Nik smiled again as he looked back at the way they were walking. "I like them too. There are probably more, but I'm not particularly thinking too hard about it." He probably should be, as she had asked, but he just wanted to enjoy their walk rather than potentially annoy her.

Saiph laughed and snuggled into his arm even more, and it was enough to stave off the worst of the chill as the rain continued to fall around them. She vaguely remembered where they were, considering she had done a quick tour of the town when she had gone off searching for clues about Anubis. She was a little surprised when they passed the first café that she had come to, and she said, "If you want something, I've been to that café before-" She cut herself off when she remembered who had been working behind the counter. "Although I say we should avoid it," she finished with a mumble. She didn't want to risk running into any more potential enemies in the same café she had run into Acacius in.

Nik looked at the café, then at Saiph curiously before shaking his head. "I think we'll avoid going into the cafés and coffee shops on this walk, though it does mean I can scope out places that would look good for our lunch. A good selection of cake and some nice drinks, I'll think we'll be set with that." He could only assume that something had happened with Acacius there, or Elijah, to make her want to avoid it, so he tried to turn it into something that would take her mind off what had happened.

Saiph allowed herself to cheer up at the thought and said, "Yes, definitely. By the way, there's something I'd like to do on the way back, and you may or may not disagree with me, but we're going to do it anyway. And I won't tell you what it is until we make our way back." She liked being ambiguous when it came to him.

Nik looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "You are an enigma wrapped in curiosity, I hope you know that. I also think that one of these days you're going to kill me using my curiosity," he joked, but in fact, he was looking forward to whatever Saiph had planned. It wasn't often he could get surprised.

Saiph laughed and said in mock horror, "I hope I don't kill you. You're my rea sreianyo, so to keep that title, your heart needs to keep beating."

The smile she wore dimmed somewhat after she used that nickname. She glanced away for a moment to look at the flooded sidewalks, and then she managed to ask, "Does...that nickname bother you? Now that you know what it means?" She hadn't planned on telling him what it meant at all, but being on the brink of death had messed with her mind a little. It still seemed like such an important nickname that seemed way over their heads considering their relationship had basically started a few days ago. Maybe it meant a little too much...

Nik watched her with a soft smile. "No, the name doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I like it more than rea koailyo, which is what you said you were going to call me. If anything, I feel almost honored that you'd think highly enough of me to call me that. Let’s me know I can make that much of an impression in a few days." He tried to keep light and as soft as his smile. The way she'd reacted when she'd first said it, he'd guessed that it had meant something significant, and he wasn't disappointed. He leaned down slightly so he could murmur in her ear playfully, or at least try to sound that way. "It can be our little secret, for us to know and no one else."

Saiph felt a huge surge of relief rush through her, and she let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She looked up at Nik and replied, "Yes, our little secret." She felt her smile come back as they continued to walk, and she peeked underneath her umbrella to look at the sky. The weather only seemed to be getting worse, and it was even starting to get a little windier. "Should we go back to the Circus? We might not make it back if we keep going," she teased.

Nik stood up straighter and grinned. "We could, though getting lost with you sounds entertaining." He was glad she seemed a lot more relaxed now. "Let's see if we can go in a circle rather than just turning around and heading straight back. I don't want this to be over just yet." He didn't care if he sounded clingy, he was enjoying himself on this walk with her.

Saiph snuggled into his arm again and murmured, "I don't want this to end yet either..." They could only enjoy this moment alone for a short while, since when they went back they'd have to deal with Christie and the death of Kaci all over again. It hit Saiph in the stomach like a punch in the gut, thinking about everything that had happened. It almost made her start to cry before she focused on the thought of being with Nik. She would make this walk count, especially when they got closer to the Circus. The thought of her idea made her nervous yet exhilarated.

Nik tightened his arm around her again, kissing the top of her head. "I'm stupidly looking forward to seeing whatever it is you have planned and I don't even know why." He didn't want to go back to the Circus, it meant that they'd go back to Christie and Rovelaen being depressed about Kaci's death. He pushed those thoughts away for now, he just wanted to focus on being with Saiph for now.

The Circus was still pretty far away, and Saiph didn’t think she could wait that long to do what she wanted to do. It took her a few minutes to gather her nerves, but finally, and slowly, Saiph tugged on Nik’s arm so that he would stop walking, and she stopped beside him. She untangled her arm from his and turned so that she was facing him squarely.

Taking his free hand with hers, she looked up at him and smiled sadly. “I really like you,” she started, making sure to keep eye contact with him. It was hard to do, but mostly because she was still nervous. “And if I’m with you, I feel like I have the potential to be something that I haven’t ever really experienced: being a normal girl. I had to grow up too fast to survive in this world, and I believed that a chance at any semblance of normality had died with my parents, and sometimes I’m reminded of that with the scar on my face.” She hadn’t meant to come out saying a full-on speech, but she felt like she was getting something off of her chest, something that had been weighing her down ever since she could think for herself. She had Nik to thank for this opportunity.

“I’ve sort of always dreamed of being a normal girl. A girl who only worried about clothes and boys and sleepovers, all of that stupid teenage drama that normal people go through. Being a part of the Circus hasn’t given me that opportunity, and although I wouldn’t ever want to leave it for the world, there’s a part of me that still wonders. What’s it like to be normal?” She briefly glanced at the Circus in the distance before turning her gaze back to Nik’s.

“Every once in a while, I’ll hear stories about silly dreams that other girls have. You always hear something interesting from the patrons if you listen closely enough,” she said with a subdued laugh. Saiph was finding it harder to keep staring at Nik, but she found the will to concentrate on his beautiful brown eyes. While looking into his face, she loosened her grip on the umbrella she was still holding until it slipped from her fingers and fell to the ground with a muffled thump. The rain water was relentless and freezing, but Saiph didn’t feel cold at all. She would probably regret getting soaked so thoroughly, and she would have to change her bandages again, but she didn’t care. Her hair stuck to her face like wet paper as she said, “One of those silly dreams I’ve heard so much about made me curious, so I want to try it.” Her fingers tightened on his hand as she smiled up at him, and she was glad for the rain in her face because then he wouldn’t have seen the happy tears she was trying hard not to shed.

“I know I’ve asked a lot of you recently, but I’d like to ask for one more thing… Nik, would you do me the honor of fulfilling a girl’s silly dream to be kissed in the rain?”

It was really such a simple thing, a kiss. They had kissed before, so a request like this shouldn’t be that much different. She had built up all this suspense for him, and she didn’t know if he would be surprised or disappointed by the finish it had, but she truly did mean every word she said. Saiph wanted as many "normal girl" memories as possible before she was truly an adult, and a simple kiss in the rain would be the first step. Especially if it was from a man she considered worthy enough of being called rea sreianyo.

Nik watched Saiph as she spoke, tilting his head ever so slightly as his smile grew. "Being normal isn't all it's cracked up to be. Granted, not everyone has been through what you've been through at your age, but it's what made you, you, and I wouldn't change that for the world." With Saiph holding onto his free hand, he dropped his own umbrella so that he could cup her face with his hand.

"But, even saying that, I couldn't say no to you when what you ask is something I've always wanted to do as well." He smirked slightly as he leaned down to press his lips against hers, ignoring the rain running down the back of his neck from his hair, ignoring the fact they were stood out on the street, ignoring anything except the feel of his lips on hers.

Saiph closed her eyes as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. At first, his lips felt just as cold as hers, but within seconds she felt like she had pressed her mouth against a piece of metal that had been left out in the sun for too long. She felt like crying because it was such a bittersweet moment for her, and she couldn't have asked for anything better.

Nik took his hand off her face and wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her even closer still. He knew he should stop, it was only supposed to be a quick kiss, but he was in his own personal heaven and he never wanted it to end.

Saiph had to admit, it was a different experience kissing under the rain. Her senses felt unstable and out of control because there were so many sensations to focus on. The dull pounding of the rain on her shoulders made her feel heavy and tied down to the ground, but touching Nik and feeling his arms wrap around her seemed to counteract that to make her feel weightless. She was starting to feel the chill, but only barely. Her body felt like she had been under the sun for an entire day without any sunscreen, and it was the most comforting feeling she had had in a while. She didn't want this to stop either, and she found her fingers moving on their own to slide into his wet hair.

Nik bit back a moan as he felt her hands in his hair. He still had no idea how that managed to send his sense of touch into overdrive, so her lips against his, her hands in his hair, his hands on her, all felt like whatever part of him wasn't touching her was on fire, and she was helping to put him out.

It took every bit of self-control he had to break off their kiss and rest his forehead against hers, opening his eyes to look at her as he got his breath back. "As much as it pains me to say it, I think we should get back before we get too carried away out here," he mumbled almost reluctantly, enjoying the feeling of the rain on his too warm skin.

Saiph slowly opened her eyes and smiled, but she didn't take out her fingers from his hair or pull away. "It's a good thing one of us has self-control, but just this once, how about you let yourself lose control?" She didn't move any closer to him, but she stared daringly into his face.

A quick glance through her peripheral vision told her no one else was around, so the only thing they had to worry about was getting dry when they returned home. Besides, being outside in public, and in the rain, kept her from wanting to take off her kimono so she could feel his hands on her bare skin. She was wearing one of her more modest performance attires underneath, so it wasn't like she would've been doing something dirty, but she was itching to replicate the feeling she had experienced back in the Healer's tent, after Nik had stitched her up.

Nik chuckled huskily, but didn't put his lips against hers again. Instead, he dipped his head and ran a trail of kisses along her jaw to the top of the bandages on her neck, then back up to the corner of her mouth, mumbling against her skin between kisses. "You don't know how hard it is to keep myself from kissing you until we're both breathless." It wasn't the only thing he wanted to do, but he had to keep his hands to himself seeing as they were in a public place and they were both sopping wet.

"Oh, I think I understand perfectly," she gasped lightly at the touch of his lips along her neck. It felt so good it almost hurt. She had never felt this way with Heilyn, and that was one of the biggest reasons why she always wanted more with Nik. He made her feel. It was hard to think straight, but she managed to form a coherent sentence as she murmured teasingly, "By the way, I'm not breathless yet." But she pretty damn close.

Nik grinned against her skin and moved his head so that he was looking her in the eye again. "Well, I'm sure we can change that," he mumbled before he pressed his lips against hers again, cheekily snaking his tongue out to get a taste of her lips while they were there. He couldn't deny he liked this feeling, it was surprisingly addictive, but he was still being carefully controlled with what it was he was doing. He didn't want to overstep the fact even though they liked each other like this, they hadn't known each other for very long and he didn't want to spoil it by doing something stupid.

Saiph quietly moaned into his mouth as she felt his tongue across her lips. He tasted like the food he had eaten earlier, but there was something else, something she couldn't even put into words. The best she could come up with was that he tasted like Nik. She wanted more, so much more...but even she knew there had to be limits. But...one touch wouldn't hurt.

She reluctantly removed her hands from his hair and trailed them down his shoulders and to the buttons of his jacket. She undid a few of them, although it was hard to maneuver her hands when all she wanted to do was concentrate on the kissing. She got a few of them open and she snaked her fingers across his chest. She would have preferred bare skin, but she could feel him through his shirt and that was more than enough for now, considering it was a bit damp. Even through the shirt, he was warm and inviting, and if they hadn't been kissing, she would have curled into him and rested her head underneath his chin. The more she thought about him, the more Nik was holding true to his word; she was starting to feel quite out of breath, but she wasn't going to let him know that.

Nik felt her hands move across his chest and he held back his own moan. Her touch, even through the fabric of his shirt, felt like it was sending bolts of electricity through his skin and he loved it. Despite trying to keep himself controlled, he trailed his hands up her sides, letting his thumbs glide across her chest before he realized what he was doing. He broke off their kiss again, resting his forehead back on hers and putting his hands back on her waist, curling his fingers slightly into the fabric of her kimono so that they wouldn't move.

"Let's stop. Otherwise I'm going to get carried away." He sounded totally out of breath, as if he'd just run a marathon rather then been stood still kissing Saiph.

Saiph smiled breathlessly as Nik pulled away, and although she wanted to pull him back in for another kiss, she knew that they should stop. She gave a small nod and buttoned up his jacket again, resting her hands on his chest once he was looking back to normal. "I'll have this memory forever now, so thank you, Nik. It was breathtaking," she teased with a small laugh. "Although I don't see how we're ever going to top that. That was...something else."

"I told you." Nik laughed himself, lightly kissing the end of Saiph's nose before he pulled back. "Hmm, I think we can top that easily, we just need a bit more privacy,” he teased, grinning as he pulled back. He kept one arm around her as he bent down and picked up both their umbrellas; they wouldn't be needing them seeing as they were both already soaked. "Come on, let's get back and get dry. As fun as that was, it's not going to do either of us much good being sopping wet."

Saiph grinned at the thought of privacy as she gently took her umbrella back from Nik. She held it over her head even though she was soaked; now that they had stopped kissing, she could start to feel the chill set into her bones like an old ache. It was annoying but bearable. "Well, I hope my 'silly dream' doesn't make us get sick," she mumbled.

Nik smirked, but he was thinking the same thing. As nice as it had been, they were still a while away from the Circus and being dry, in which time one, if not both, of them would get ill. "Even if it does, it will totally be worth it." He grinned, forcing his jaw shut so that his teeth wouldn't chatter. He didn't bother putting his umbrella back over him, instead collapsing it back into a carry-able size for the rest of their walk back.

Saiph frowned at him when he put his umbrella away; some protection was better than nothing. She sidled up next to him and slid her hand around his back to rest on his waist as she used her left hand to hold the umbrella over them both. She looked up at him and simply explained, "Gives me an excuse to stay close."

He looked down at her and put his arm around her shoulder with a gentle smirk. "You don't need an excuse, but thank you." He looked up at the umbrella pointedly before looking back at her. "I like you being this close, sopping wet or not. It's…comforting," he murmured to her, cringing slightly at his choice of words, but it was true enough. He preferred her closer, close enough where their breath mixed in front of their faces, but just having her arm around him was more than enough for now.

"And I can say the same of you," she replied back honestly as she rested her head on his shoulder again. As they trudged their way back to the Circus, she smirked and looked back up at him. "So, you like me right? Not that I don't believe you, but hearing the words would be nice," she teased. She was just joking, but she didn't know what else to talk about on the way back that didn't involve what was in store for them back home.

Nik sniggered, clearly amused. "Of course I like you, otherwise what we just did would be the most awkward thing on the planet," he teased back, but he was worried about what was waiting for them when they got back to the Circus. He didn't know if Christie had gotten back yet, and if she had, what state she was going to be in. He bit back a sigh and tried to keep their kiss at the forefront of his mind; he didn't want to be brought down just yet, it was rare he got to feel this good about anything.

Saiph laughed. "Yes, that would have been majorly awkward. I think I'm going to have to get another hot chocolate for later tonight, since I have a feeling that this rain isn't going to let up anytime soon." She peeked out underneath the umbrella again; she had been grateful for the rain during their kiss, but now that it was over, she sort of wanted the weather to just give up and call it a day. "I hope Christie's not as sopping wet as we are," she murmured, mostly to herself.

Nik hummed happily. "Very rare is it I say this, but I might join you in your hot chocolate endeavors. It'll make a nice change." His smile dimmed a bit when Saiph brought up Christie. He almost missed what she said thanks to the rain, but he heard it and it made him sigh. "I just hope she's safe. Her running off in a state didn't exactly boost my confidence in her ability to keep herself unharmed." He was praying that she was all right, but she wouldn't be all right, not for a very long time.

Saiph wasn't feeling it, but she made her voice sound confident as she said firmly, "Christie is going to be fine. We're all going to be fine, as long as we stay together. We're going to help her through this, along with Rovelaen. We have to." Her arm tightened around his back, but only slightly. She wished that she could have this much confidence when it came to other more dangerous things, but sometimes it just wasn't enough.

Nik tightened his arm around her shoulders comfortingly, turning his head so he could kiss the top of hers. "We will, don't worry. We're all family, so it's important we look out for one another, especially now when those two need us the most." He looked back up to watch where they were walking, silently wondering if just them being there was going to be enough for the two of them.

Saiph nodded, but the topic of discussion was just too miserable to think about, at least for right now. They had maybe less than ten minutes before they returned to the Circus, so she wanted to use up every last second to talk about nothing but themselves. She glanced at Nik and managed a smile. "On lighter topics, you can keep my shirt if you want. You know, the one you slept in. I still have one for myself, so I won't miss it."

Nik scoffed playfully. "I have enough shirts of my own, thank you. The only upside to your shirt was that it smelled like you. Which may have been why I slept in it." He smirked down at her and squeezed her slightly. "Though I must thank you for letting me borrow that shirt, it was nice to be clean and dry for a bit," he teased slightly, taking a jab at both the weather and Saiph's inability to keep free of blood for any substantial length of time.

"You're welcome," she replied lightly. "So now it's only fair that I borrow one of your shirts if I end up needing one, although I'm pretty sure that won't happen any time soon." She smiled knowingly and concentrated back on the dismal weather in front of them.

"Now look who's being a tease." Nik chuckled, keeping that particular image to himself. "Well, when it comes to you, anything can happen, so I'm not squashing my hopes just yet." Even with the weather the way it was, he was enjoying this impromptu walk with Saiph; it was almost easy to forget everything that happened. Until the next time they saw Christie again, that was.